i walked by
a periwinkle house
with a navy blue door
and a black mailbox,
trying to will my feet
to keep going and
my heart to stay in my chest.

it was 73 degrees
and of course I wore
my sweatpants. and the sweatshirt
he lent to me that's four sizes
too large.
i passed three people.
          none said hello. i must have been invisible,
drowning in clothes like that. being swallowed up
even though i was never one for
biting off more than i could chew, til recently
when i stopped chewing and only did the biting.

i've heard it said
that our hearts
are wild animals
which is why
our ribs
          are cages.
numbers pull at my (wish)
          bones-- friction against fabric
fwup fwup of sandals
sweat licking down my back.

i got to a road i'd never seen before
and the sign said STOP
          so i did
but not after i laid my hand on it.
the metal was cold (a quick reprieve
from the heat) but it wasn't enough
to soothe my throbbing
left ventricle or relax my
spastic diaphragm.

i walked past
a periwinkle house
with a navy blue door
and a black mailbox
(downhill this time!)
and wondered if this is
what's it's like to be digested.