i had the biggest crush on my poetry professor in college. i always tried to impress him but it never went the way i planned.

some of the best moments in class were when he looked me dead in the eyes and my heart stopped. he didn't give a lot of compliments, but he honestly could have told me my work was complete shit and i still would have loved him.

he nominated me for a poetry prize and i about died. i didn't win, but i entered proudly.

i wish i knew how to talk to him

like somehow if i could have told him how much i (did and still do) admire him then i might have

closure, but